Deciding To Split

Posted on: 14 December 2021

If you will soon be going through divorce mediation with your spouse, you may not know what to expect during the process. Divorce mediation is a way to work out how to handle the divorce with a neutral mediator, who will help you make decisions and come to an agreement on issues. It prevents you from going through the costly process of going to trial, and gives you control over the final outcome. Here are some tips for going through mediation.

Don't Withhold Information 

Divorce mediation is supposed to be a cooperative effort between you and your spouse, which is why you want to do everything you can to not hinder the process. Don't assume that you are going to get the upper hand by withholding information, such as financial documents, from your spouse. Know that you are only going to delay the process, cause your spouse to make a formal request, and then end up paying more in the end for your lawyers to handle the request. 

Avoid Personal Attacks

Divorce mediation is not the time for things to get personal between you and your spouse. You are meeting for the purpose of creating your divorce settlement agreement and nothing more. All of those issues that you need to still work out that are related to the divorce should happen outside of mediation. The time that you spend with your lawyers and the mediator are billable no matter what you are discussing, so try to limit the discussion to the matter at hand. 

Arrive Ready To Negotiate

The purpose of going through divorce mediation is because it is an environment where you are trying to work together to reach that common goal of a divorce settlement agreement. That's why you need to go into mediation with an open mind and ready to negotiate. You are expected to work with your lawyer to determine a strategy of how you will handle mediation, but you'll need to know which things you are willing to give up and the things you are willing to hold firm on. Arriving with the mindset of wanting everything and for your spouse to get nothing will not be helpful to either person. 

Know You Can Step Back

Divorce mediation doesn't have to happen all in one day and will likely span several sessions to come up with your final agreement. Know that you can step back and take a break from it if you find that you need a moment or want to talk things over with your lawyer in private. This can also help reset mediation if things become too heated. Look into different options like online mediation to find the way that works for you and your ex.